What SHOULD be an Olympic sport
Ever notice that they STRETCH it a little when adding new
"sports" to the Olympics. such as skeet shooting, sledding, and dancing with
props (rhythmic dancing)? I've devised a list of my own, and should these be
added, I am sure that my family would come home with many golds and would be
featured on Wheaties commercials.
My List of Home Oriented Olympic Hopefuls
Fly swatting: Combines the movement and coordination or arm-leg, hand-eye,
and flexibility of wrists. It also requires the skill of choosing between backhand
and forehand in a fraction of a second.
Barbie Doll Playing: This one is a trifle difficult, but we'll work on it.
For now, I see that the fingers get exercised, the vocal cords stretched, and
the arms, buttocks, and torso muscles get sufficient toning while picking up
dolls on the opposite side of the room. In addition, one must be skilled in
choreography and sharp in the mind to devise new and original plots of how Barbie
will meet Ken.
School Oriented Olypmic Sports
Matball: Once known by middle school students as "Ratball," this has become
a favorite of all ages. While our gym teacher insists that this game IS already
an Olympic sport, we have yet to see it incorporated in the games. It suffices
to say that the matball player player expends a lot of energy in kicking, dodging,
and running the bases. While rules differ from location to location, I feel
confident that we will be able to strike a compromise between the sport's gurus
and initiate ratball/matball into the Olympics as the newest team sport. GO
Warning: players of fragile ego should stay away, for many times on is hit in
rather embarassing places. Injuries are common, and the OSC (Olympic Safety
Commission) will probably require extensive headgear and full-body protection.
Gym teachers, pay attention and take the hint.
School-walking: Since a spread-out school on ONE level is most difficult to
cover, one might think that the school architects would devise short-cuts and
easier ways to get from here to there. Not so at DRHS. With only 3 minutes to
get from class to class, one often finds himself darting among teachers and
students alike to get from the math corridor to the music wing. As a result,
Dighton-Rehoboth High produces many finely-trained athletes. One might accredit
the school's favorable results in athletics to strenuous sports training, but
we know this is not the real reason. The amount of distance the average D-R
student covers in a day far surpasses the recommended amount of exercise in
one week. No need for intercholastic sports.
Extensions, variations, and other school-related exercises: stair-climbing (in
multi-level schools), book/backpack carrying, and the dash from the parking
lot to homerook at 7:14 AM.
From The Next Generation of Olympic Sports by Jennifer Therisod.