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What SHOULD be an Olympic sport

 

Ever notice that they STRETCH it a little when adding new "sports" to the Olympics. such as skeet shooting, sledding, and dancing with props (rhythmic dancing)? I've devised a list of my own, and should these be added, I am sure that my family would come home with many golds and would be featured on Wheaties commercials.

My List of Home Oriented Olympic Hopefuls

  • Fly swatting: Combines the movement and coordination or arm-leg, hand-eye, and flexibility of wrists. It also requires the skill of choosing between backhand and forehand in a fraction of a second.

  • Barbie Doll Playing: This one is a trifle difficult, but we'll work on it. For now, I see that the fingers get exercised, the vocal cords stretched, and the arms, buttocks, and torso muscles get sufficient toning while picking up dolls on the opposite side of the room. In addition, one must be skilled in choreography and sharp in the mind to devise new and original plots of how Barbie will meet Ken.

    School Oriented Olypmic Sports

  • Matball: Once known by middle school students as "Ratball," this has become a favorite of all ages. While our gym teacher insists that this game IS already an Olympic sport, we have yet to see it incorporated in the games. It suffices to say that the matball player player expends a lot of energy in kicking, dodging, and running the bases. While rules differ from location to location, I feel confident that we will be able to strike a compromise between the sport's gurus and initiate ratball/matball into the Olympics as the newest team sport. GO TEAM USA!
    Warning: players of fragile ego should stay away, for many times on is hit in rather embarassing places. Injuries are common, and the OSC (Olympic Safety Commission) will probably require extensive headgear and full-body protection. Gym teachers, pay attention and take the hint.

  • School-walking: Since a spread-out school on ONE level is most difficult to cover, one might think that the school architects would devise short-cuts and easier ways to get from here to there. Not so at DRHS. With only 3 minutes to get from class to class, one often finds himself darting among teachers and students alike to get from the math corridor to the music wing. As a result, Dighton-Rehoboth High produces many finely-trained athletes. One might accredit the school's favorable results in athletics to strenuous sports training, but we know this is not the real reason. The amount of distance the average D-R student covers in a day far surpasses the recommended amount of exercise in one week. No need for intercholastic sports.
    Extensions, variations, and other school-related exercises: stair-climbing (in multi-level schools), book/backpack carrying, and the dash from the parking lot to homerook at 7:14 AM.

    From The Next Generation of Olympic Sports by Jennifer Therisod.

     

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